But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
