i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
