if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
