so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
