the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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