Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize