OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize