i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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