Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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