So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
