those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
