i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we're making bets on your personal life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
