When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
