DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
