idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
