He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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