Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
