Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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