im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
