It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
