So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
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My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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