it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i need some magic done to my vagina
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
