Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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