he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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