you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Damn victory sex feels great
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
