just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
