I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize