I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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