Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
