i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
