Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
