I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
