can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize