so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize