I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
