Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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