it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
