she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
