I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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