Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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