dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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