R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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