Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
