there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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