I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
