You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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