i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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