sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
