The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Please don't give away my fajitas
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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