; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
