We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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