His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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