i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
