You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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