The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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