and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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