and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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