i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
