Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
