he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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