I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
