I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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